A New Year, a New Plan

Dear Friends,
To attempt to describe the last year or so of our lives is more than anyone of us wants to go into or read about :) and as For most of you, you have followed along closely enough to know that it has been a rocky, unsteady and uncertain road. A few things have cleared up in the last month but we are still trying to come out of the fog that has characterized our lives for many, many years. The fog of LIFE that characterizes and mars many. The same LIFE that also gives hope, grace, forgiveness, and second chances. To all of you in our lives that have reached out in our direction during this most difficult time, THANK YOU! The bits of encouragement, the senses of hope, the glimpses of grace, the meaningful smiles, pats on the back and intercession on our behalf, have been VITAL lifelines during a time of great pain and loss.

We are beginning to rebuild. After selling almost everything, giving the rest away, and coming up $5,000.00 of the $21,000.00 short, we decided in great heartache to abandon the full-time missionary plan with Operation Mobilization. We could have continued to fund raise four more months to make up the difference but due to the stress and strain of an already drained and dying situation and family life, we decided that was not the best plan. Embarrassed and feeling very humiliated we hesitantly contacted all of our gracious supporters, explained the situation and returned funds. Then we proceeded to work on a plan C, whatever that was and whatever that looked like we just couldn't be sure of at that point, but we HAD to get up each day and try to put one foot in front of the other and do the things we knew how to do. Matt began to look for jobs and i began to try to turn my attention back to the children and homeschooling.

Thankfully, at this point it is all still a blur. By the grace and divine intervention of a God that loves us more than we can grasp, Matt has a new job and a quickly progressing career as an insurance agent with American General, one of the biggest insurance companies in the country. This job and new direction has been a HUGE blessing, comfort and driving force for us in a world that has been crumbling faster than we can pick up the pieces. I sense that Matt is just as much of a God-send to them as we feel like they are to us!

Doing what I could under the circumstances, the kids are still growing, learning and thriving in an environment that has not really been conducive to those things. Again, a divine intervention from a God that parents, teaches and holds when we as earthly parents are unable to do so. I am continually AMAZED at the awesomeness of God when I observe or spend time interacting with my 5 INCREDIBLE children. I am blessed, not necessarily b/c of anything that i have done, not b/c of anything great that i possess but strictly b/c i love and serve and desire to please the most amazing FATHER, a FATHER i cannot even grasp at most of the time.

So Matt is working, Myra is @ home most of the time teaching and mothering and the boys are so glad it's INDOOR soccer season again. We are currently leasing a wonderful old place with lots of charm and character right in town. A very convenient location with lots of space and lots of potential. Lord willing we keep on keeping on here we'd like to buy sometime this summer. But again, it's still all such a blur,raw and very much still mold able plan C. It's just time we proceed in this LIFE of ours with GREAT CAUTION yet full of FAITH, HOPE and TRUST in the God who has not been at all surprised by the happenings that have cost us almost everything.

Matt stated a week or so ago that this has been the most difficult time of our lives and i would have to agree. Yet never were we out of His sight, His hand or His plan. He has allowed us to be tempted, sifted, shaken and crumbled but not yet destroyed. And by His grace and His great measure will we rise again and say "Blessed be the name of the Lord." He gives and takes away but my heart still will say "Blessed be the name of the Lord."

Therefore now, there is no condemnation for those who love the Lord! We are once again trying to hold our heads high and live out loud a life that says, "Ye thou i walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil"! It might take us a few more weeks, months, maybe even a year or so but we will once again walk without shame, guilt or regret. We will once again be able to love and forgive b/c He first loved and forgave us.

We love you and are eternally thankful for the gift of relationships with you!

-The Jackson 7, still in Tn.

James 8, loves sports, math, history, geography, the great outdoors, animals, cooking pancakes for the family at least 2x a week and figuring things out!

Josiah 7, loves people, arts, food and being sensitive and creative.

Johnathan Paul 5, loves anything/everything his brothers love and anything he can beat his siblings at. He's strong and sure and deeply connected.

Rebekah 3, loves LIFE, animals, reading, drawing, dressing up and being as tough as the boys sometimes too.

Rachel 2, loves still being the baby and every one's attention b/c she is so!