Mom Moments

Being a mom definitely has it's advantages. Beginning with the incredible experience only women can share of birthing a baby. What a miracle and life changing situation. There is also the advantage of the love between mother and child, the intimacy that is immediately brought to life at conception. The growing bond as your child grows in your womb and begins to move around inside you.
However, if all of us Mom's are honest, being a mom also had it's disadvantages and times of inconveniences. The pains of pregnancy and birth and learning to nurse your child. The raging hormones through 9 months and the months after as your body begins to recover. The sleepless nights and mood changes that come from not sleeping, hormones and the experience and pressure being a mom adds to your life. These are just a few of the disadvantages of birthing a child not considering any complications you might have. Add those in and the stress and emotional toll children have on your body, mind and spirit can be overwhelming.
With my six children each experience has been different and has had it's different advantages and disadvantages. However, i wouldn't exchange any of it for anything in the world. It has shaped me, grown me and given me life experience that only it can produce in our lives. Experiences teaches us. Whether for the good, bad or ugly.
From the beginning some things I discovered that made having six children possible are numerous. Perseverance being one. Persevering through pregnancy, especially at those times when having another child was definitely not in our deck of cards. Perseverance through nursing when it was so painful for months that it would make your toes curl up at latch on. Perseverance through the pain of not being able to nurse a child. Perseverance through the raging hormonal processes. Perseverance through the sleepless nights, the endless crying, the constant feedings, the uneasiness and uncertain of Motherhood at first with each new child and the challenges Motherhood brings. We aren't instantly experienced Mothers, it's a process, an ever changing journey.
The fed-wake -sleep cycle. For those of you out there just beginning, this strategy has saved my life and sanity! Beginning around 10 weeks or shortly after once the baby is beginning to stay awake for shorts amounts of time, i chose a schedule over demand feeding. I would feed my infant every 2 1/2 to 3 hours, wake the baby up after the feeding by changing the diaper, giving a bath, talking to the baby or whatever works to arouse your child out of sleep. Then keep the baby awake for 15-20 minutes or as long as possible and then put the baby down for a nap, to sleep until the next feeding. Waking your baby if she/he sleeps past the 3 hour mark. This cycle established sleep and feeding rhythms that the infant then begins to grow into. This has helped me so much! This has ensured that by 12-18 weeks my babies have slept through the night and been great sleepers and nappers. I would really have lost my sanity if this cycle was not taught to me from the very beginning. Sleep deprivation is a very dangerous thing. It's pretty amazing what your body does without appropriate amounts of sleep.
Child centered parenting is also a trap i did not want to fall into. I wanted to maintain a healthy relationship with my spouse and my children. I wanted my priorities to be in line. I didn't want our children to dictate my every move and decision making abilities. I wanted as a mom and my husband as a dad to call the shots while still maintaining a bent ear to my children and what they had to say. We try to always consider what the children say they need or want but at the same time it can be very dangerous to allow the child/or children to be in control and at the center of all things. This can destroy a marriage over time.
A listening ear is so important as well in the growing relationship between husband and wife and children and parents. Everyone of us wants and needs to be heard.
As difficult as parenthood is the pros most definitely out way the cons. It's an experience unparalleled in this life. It's a miracle in and of itself to grow and birth a child. However, we need tools. Tools to do the job, tools to refine us as parents. I would like to spend some time in my next few posts to share the tools that have helped me as a mom and women in this day and time. I would love to hear back from you moms and dads regarding what has had the greatest impact on you as a parent. What stands out to you that has helped make a difference in your parenting for the better. What question might you have? There is always so much we can learn from each other.

Happy Parenting!
Myra