Thursday, August 14, 2008

A Lesson In Waiting

Currently Reading: The Calvary Road by Roy Hession....a must read for all of us!

Another one of my journal entries: I wrote this one prior to this very difficult week. Sadly I failed my own advice here this week, so I have added in my confessions of this week to what I had written last week. However, I still think it's good advice and truth I will contiue to try to practice and play out in my life, not perfectly, obviously but I'll keep trying.

Waiting....ugggg...it must be one of the hardest things in life i have to do or have to learn to do. Hopefully I'm learning but I know I haven't mastered it yet b/c i struggle so badly with it and am often caught red handed at "jumping the gun" or "biting at the bit to jump the gun".

We've definitely had and are having some lessons/issues in waiting lately.
What have you had to wait for lately or long term? What are you currently waiting for? How do you react or respond to waiting?

What about the struggle of saying the right thing at the right time and in the right way? Another BIG HUGE weakness of mine. How do you do in lessons/issues of humility or of allowing the person(s) to learn the lesson the hard way b/c they wouldn't, couldn't or don't know how to listen? Or maybe you just knew they wouldn't listen or what you had to say wouldn't make a difference? Or maybe b/c you've been told not to say that at that time to that person.

When people are involved and people getting hurt are involved(myself included) I tend to get too emotionally and relationally involved, especially if I see "sin" that is going on or might happen or might could be prevented or helped if I spoke up, sometimes even before I have removed the plank from my own eye. 1st step: remove the plank in your own eye first before preceeding ahead, if possible(Matthew 7:3-5) How do you determine when you should let the Holy Spirit be the Holy Spirit and do His job in speaking to that person and when you should speak up? It's a difficult determination for me and one I mess up on all the time. In these situations and in situations where I think I could help or am just willing to help, too willing sometimes, EVERYTHING in my body, my being, my mind, heart, soul and spirit, everything in me wants to come bursting forth like fire out of a dragons mouth to STOP the sin or devastatingly damaging or potentially damaging results, and sometimes it does, right or wrong or for good or bad sometimes "I" just happen. All of a sudden The intense BATTLE for my mouth and commitment comes rushing forward as two rams crashing forward butting heads for the approval of the Master of Creation.
My intense desire to set wrong, right. My overly aggressive nature of rooting sin out at its very core begins to burn so deep, so strong and so passionately that it has now boiled to an extremely dangerously disastrously point.......Now again MY sin is rearing it's ugly head. Which sin is worse, theirs or now mine? Which sin will do the most amount of damage? Which sin will do the least amount of damage? And how do I help in this situation instead of making it worse than it already is? And then in THAT quiet, quick moment(if I take it or take the time to ask) of me internally asking the Master of Creation these questions I hear HIS answer.......I hear his answer b/c so far(in some situations sometimes) I have waited, I have so far remained calm, I have so far not acted rashly and so far I have been asking 1 trusted friend....when we do that His answer comes when we ask, His answer to.....BE QUIET now and WAIT. But I don't/can't/haven't all the time act(ed) according to the above perscription, especially in the last week. I'd been making progress in this area, I had thought. I'd been trying and getting some good results and I will continue to try, repent and try, repent and try.
WHAT LORD??? Did you say BE QUIET? Be Quiet about this obvious sin being played out like a very strange play right before my very eyes? Be Quiet? Do not confront this sin right here and right now? And the answer again.....Be Quiet and Wait. He says to me it will get confronted, it will not go unchecked but now is not the time. My timing is perfect and my plan most effective. you will have a time later to make a greater impact re: the sin you see in this very moment and in their lives and yours but you must wait. If you don't wait it will not be rooted out but only scratch the surface and resurface continually. Or be made worse by the timing and manner in which you proceed. Wait my child, wait.......so here I sit, waiting....waiting but peaceful. Peaceful that God's timing, plans and our future personally and with others are a harvest waiting to be brought in exponentially.

5 comments:

trouble said...

Wow. I guess I have that problem too. But satan usually tells me to hush because of my own sin. I know how difficult it is to not say anything, but God is working. We just have to wait. I've gotten alot better about being patient. We have had a year or more on waiting for the courts to settle Bob and his ex's issues. So all we can do is wait. i've learned that there is no sence in complaining because it doesn't help. God bless as I continue to pray for you guys.

myra said...

Thanks Carla D.! I'm sorry I have been so bad at responding to your emails and commments life is just becoming manageable again and thank you for continuing to pray, communicate and stay connected with us. God's blessings on you two and tell Bob hello from all the jacksons!

Anonymous said...

Great Post. However, I was wondering what exactly the 'if possible' means in this statement... "remove the plank in your own eye first before preceeding ahead, if possible(Matthew 7:3-5)..." I looked this verse up in a few different translations and I didn't see an 'if possible.' Was the 'if possible' something that you got out of reading the verse, or are you saying to abide by that verse, if that is possible?... but even in that there is still some question... Sorry if it seems like I'm trying to criticize you, I am most definitely not, I was just curious as to what your take was on that.

myra said...

Thanks anonymous....no offense taken, I often don't communicate clearly enough and I'd rather someone ask for clarification from me than assume the worse.
I was not quoting or didn't mean to be quoting scripture exactly,in the book "if possible" is not apart of the exact verse.
I was trying to say abide by that verse "if possible". Often times, though I believe that principal it's not that easy to follow for different reasons, namely my own sin and it's easier sometimes to point or pick out faults and sins in others than to deal with my own or handle things in the right manner. Hope that clarifies, if not ask again.

Thanks anonymous! Do you have a site?

Anonymous said...

Yes... That does clear it up. Thank you. I do have a site, but it is anonymous.